Somatic Healing: Shifting Anxiety, Boundaries and Faith

It was a Saturday morning. My daughter had woken up way earlier than her normal wake time, and her body knew it. Even after our morning cuddles and some breakfast, she struggled to find peace. Her breakfast was wrong, after she requested it. Her clothes weren't right, after she picked them, and the hug was too much, after she reached for it. It was a challenging moment to say the least. Because at that moment, there was nothing I felt I could do to help her. Me, her mother, couldn’t read her mind or take her discomfort away. Let’s face it, isn’t that all us mothers hope for? 

But I remember a moment, where I felt like I had a choice to make. 

I could let these moments overwhelm me (I’ve been there before) or I could pause and follow her. I thought, if I’m feeling emotions arise through our challenges this morning, an adult with the ability to self-regulate, how large must these emotions feel to my little girl. So, what did I do? 

I paused. And I gave her what she needed at that moment. 

No matter how many times she pushed me away. I stayed and respected her space, until she was ready. And eventually, she was. She finally reached for a hug, and I sat with her, in silence. I held her in that sweet embrace and rocked her until she fell back asleep. I remember tearing in that moment, because I could feel her peace as she laid in my arms. I understood that she felt safe. 

Safe enough to feel sad, to feel angry, to feel confused and to finally feel calm. 

I understood what it meant to hold that space for her. To maintain grounded enough to have the capacity to give her what she needed, to restore her peace, without succumbing to the emotions myself. This was one of the many moments where I was subtly reminded of how far I’ve come with somatic work and understanding my body enough to have control in how I respond to the situations around me. 

And the longer I’ve practiced somatics, the more other areas of my life began to benefit as well. What started as a healing journey in motherhood turned into so much more. And although it wasn’t expected, it was much needed. So I’d love to share 3 ways somatics flowed into my life to help deepen my journey to healing. Somatic healing helped me:

1. Reduce anxiousness:

There was a time when I was completely blind to my anxiety.  I never quite understood it, so I often ignored it. I learned to live with it. I slowly learned to manage what I could, but I thought that it was something that would always be a part of me. And to be honest, I thought I was doing a pretty good job. Until I began to practice somatics.

Once I began to learn more about somatics, I learned a lot about my body awareness. I became aware of not only what I was feeling, but I started to become curious about the reason behind the feeling. And with this curiosity came acceptance. I truly learned to embrace my emotions and honor them as they surfaced. 

Suddenly, it was no longer a constant battle of resistance, but a welcomed relationship with my anxiety. 

With that relationship I found my groundedness. 

My way back to myself in the midst of emotions. 

I found my safety. 

Finding that safety, finding what anchors me, has been transformational. I never knew how ungrounded I felt until I experienced what it felt like to feel grounded within myself. So when my anxiety did arise, fear and resistance no longer flooded me. I was no longer overanxious. Instead, I held compassion for what was activating within me. I grew to explore what these emotions were holding in my body. And I embraced whatever surfaced. Which is all possible because of my ability to hold myself and my body in a space of safety to do so. An anchored space, a trusting space, where I know I can always come back to myself. 

 And I noticed the invisible strain anxiety was holding over me slowly begin to dissolve. 

I learned that listening to my body was not only healthier, but simpler than constantly resisting. So now, I give myself the space and compassion to pause, to listen, to understand, and honor not just my anxiety, but every activation that may flow into my life.

 2. Grow my relationship with God: 

My faith is very important to me. It’s rooted me and seen me through the ups and the downs of this journey we call life. When I became a mother, I definitely leaned more on my faith, through the sleep deprivation, the breastfeeding journey and the fevers. And also through the beautiful laughter, the first milestones and the warm embraces.

I began to make more time to grow a deeper relationship with God because I felt immensely blessed to receive my daughter into my life. I began to seek God in everything. I began to grow my gratitude and made an effort to see the blessings through the many hardships. God continued to see me through, as always.

But something shifted when I started practicing somatics. As I began to grow a relationship with my body, I became much more attuned with myself. I had more clarity, more trust and more compassion. Not just for others, but for myself. I felt God reveal how I was showing gratitude for all the beautiful blessings around me but I wasn’t acknowledging the blessings within me. 

So I made space for acknowledging my strengths and my weaknesses, my joy and my frustrations, my growth and my mistakes. 

I felt God leading me to see all of me. To make space for all of me. To accept all of me. 

But it wasn’t until I grew my relationship with myself and my body that I allowed that journey to begin. God knew my heart. God knew what I needed before I did (surprise, surprise). I wanted to know God more, but God also wanted me to know myself. I wanted to show more gratitude, but God wanted me to remember to share that gratitude with myself. I wanted God to guide me in taking care of my beautiful family, but God showed me that taking care of myself is just as important.

So I listen. And I continue to listen everyday. To God and to myself. And my faith has never been stronger.

 3. Create Boundaries:

I did not realize how important establishing boundaries was until I began to practice somatics. To be honest, I had no idea where my boundaries really were. I had never given it much thought. But once I began to grow a relationship with myself and my body, I began to understand how loose my boundaries were and how it was affecting me. 

I was often feeling hurt and frustrated in relationships around me because I was overextending my boundaries and then responded by completely closing off. I didn’t even realize how long I was in this cycle where I truly didn’t understand my part to play in the hurt I was feeling. But then I began my journey with somatic healing. 

And somatics began to show me where my boundaries were and how to keep them within a space that felt safe. 

I began to learn that boundaries are not the same with everyone or everything. And I learned how important it is to learn where your boundaries stand. But this was hard for me, having to really look at where my boundaries had to be more respected and choosing to respect them. Choosing to give a little more in some relationships, or receive a little more in others.

But eventually, I began to understand. In respecting my boundaries, I was also respecting others. I began to see that many of the relationships where I lacked boundaries had more to do with my season and what I was going through, not others’. In my seasons, I’ve learned that I may need more or less from relationships in my life, and recognizing that isn’t selfish, it’s healthy. Because with a healthy boundary, I can be a better friend, a better wife, and a better mother. 

I learned that boundaries are about your well-being and finding where you feel safe. And there’s beautiful strength in that. 

There is beauty in the journey I have been through. And beauty in the journey that I’m on. Motherhood has taught me a million lessons and somatic healing continues to allow me to open up, in every area of my life, to see, feel and honor it all.

If you’ve never practiced somatics before, my 5-day Somatic Challenge is a great place to start. This challenge covers 5 of my most used somatic practices I use just about daily. It’s a risk free way to experience somatic healing if you’re curious about what it can start moving in your life.

Feeling a pull for deeper support?  Join The Eased Mama Membership. Be a part of a community of women that understand your motherhood journey and work with me monthly to learn somatic stress release practices that easily integrate into your daily hustle of ‘mom life’.

It’s hard to be vulnerable, and I hope my vulnerability in some way helped you recognize that you’re not alone. We’re not all on the same journey, but we are all on a journey. Our journey. And remember, we have a choice in where it goes.