3 Somatic Exercises to Help Give Yourself Grace in Motherhood

The gift of motherhood is such a beautiful blessing. It is a piece of my life that I am truly thankful for each and every day. It very much feels like there is a light your children shine on you once they come into your life. A light that penetrates you so deeply that it not only fills your heart, it fills your soul. It gives you courage to become the best version of yourself and strength to heal what surfaces in the process. A light that becomes a part of you, always to hold, as long as you’ll have it. 

But of course, motherhood comes with its challenges. And with these challenges, our light can feel harder to hold. Sometimes the challenging breastfeeding journey, the hormone fluctuations or returning to work after maternity leave can suddenly make this light feel non-existent. Suddenly, the overwhelm, the frustration and the guilt sink in. And if you’re not careful, you can stay stuck here. Constantly cycling between battling these emotions and giving every bit that's left of yourself to that beautiful family of yours. And sadly, this is where many of us mothers find ourselves. Without ever realizing it.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. 

You don’t have to just ‘deal with it’. You don’t have to stay in this cycle of battling your emotions as a way of being there for your family. There are ways to move out of this cycle. To shift back to your light and to hold yourself in it. A great way is by practicing self gratitude. I know, that sounds simple. But I think that’s the challenge. It is so simple that we lose sight of it. Easily. And suddenly, you’re spiraling down a deep hole of self guilt and the thought of showing gratitude for yourself, for your efforts, for your strength, disappears.

We do not have to stay stagnant in this spiral of a cycle, so I want to share 3 somatic exercises you can easily implement when you're finding yourself stuck in the battle of emotions and struggling to find compassion for yourself. You can use these exercises individually or as a progression of one another. As long as you trust yourself, your body will do the rest.

Somatic Movement Exercise: 

If you’re unfamiliar with somatics, it involves your understanding of the sensations in your body and what they mean to you. It is the practice of enhancing your body awareness to notice what you’re feeling and allowing yourself the permission to embrace and understand it. In this way, the sensation, what you’re feeling, doesn’t stay stuck in your body, but rather flows through it.

Movement can be a great catalyst for allowing emotions to flow through. And by movement, I mean just that, moving some part of you. It can be simple, it can be small. As small as wiggling your fingers or as large as full body movement. Small or large, they’re powerful. The key is giving yourself the space to notice what movement your body is needing when you’re struggling to find compassion for yourself, and giving yourself the grace to allow it to move through.

Like with anything, this can take practice. So here are a few steps to guide you into somatic movement to help you find peace within yourself again. Remember, there is no right or wrong movement. Trust your body and yourself.

• Give yourself a moment to ground and tune into your body
• Ask why you’re feeling a lack of gratitude or compassion and notice where you feel it
• Allow yourself to be with it, honor it
• Notice what wants to be moved in your body and trust it
• Give the movement permission, whether its big or small
• Thank yourself and your body for taking the time to listen and show compassion

The secret to feeling compassion and gratitude for yourself is first noticing what it actually feels like in your body when you do. Only then, will you begin to notice when you aren’t giving yourself enough grace, enough compassion, and what you need for yourself in response. This awareness is what will help you shift. 

From the spiral of guilt to the gratitude for the little moments 

From the stress of not enough to the compassion of releasing perfection

From the overwhelm of carrying it all to the grace of recognizing you don’t have to

Once you’ve learned what self gratitude feels like within yourself, you’ll notice every time you’re without it. This body awareness, these messages, are within the body. Your body. You just have to listen. 

Self Compassion Exercise:

We’re too hard on ourselves mamas. We all know it. Yet it can be so hard to fight. It’s often easier to think about everywhere you’re falling short instead of everywhere you’re doing great. 

You lose sleep over every piece of laundry that didn’t get folded, but overlook the dance party you had instead.

You think about the frustration of always misplacing your phone, but discount that it’s misplaced because you prioritized your little one

You feel defeated during every toothbrushing routine, but lose sight of how sweet your child’s imperfect efforts are 

It is these little moments that you can begin to feel the overwhelm of motherhood. But in these same moments, you get to see the joy as well. It’s about choice. The choice to have compassion and empathy for yourself so that your eyes and your heart can open up to see the beauty of motherhood that’s right in front of you. 

This can be easier said than done, so I’ve put together a simple self compassion exercise you can try when you’re losing sight of how great you’re doing and need to find peace in the chaos.

• Take a breath to help yourself attune to your body
• Find somewhere in your body that you feel compassion
• Begin to spread this compassion throughout your body 
• Allow yourself the permission to receive this compassion 
• Share kinds words or affirmations with yourself for finding this compassion

This practice is about opening your heart to find even the smallest bit of compassion for yourself and coming into relationship with it, so that it is no longer a foreign feeling, but a familiar one.

Resourcing Exercise:

Resourcing is the practice of recognizing the supports around you and sensing into how they make your body feel. Once you understand what your resources are, you can use them to build resilience around your stress, so that it can begin to feel more manageable and you can feel more eased.

This is a great tool to use to help hold gratitude and compassion for yourself because it helps you find resources ( people, places, things ect.) that bring you that sense of gratitude. Once you’ve found the resources that support you, you can hold them in your back pocket and remember them when you’re struggling to give yourself grace. 

Here are a few simple steps to help you find a resource that you can hold with you when you’re needing to find peace in your motherhood journey.

• Ground yourself to your body
• Take a moment to think about a resource that makes you feel compassion and grateful for being a mother
• Hold this feeling, visual, color, whatever surfaces, and let yourself receive it
• Give yourself gratitude and let yourself know this resources is yours to keep

Keep in mind that your resources can always change. The more you practice holding resources for yourself, the easier you will recognize what best supports you when you’re in need of compassion and gratitude. Your healing is already within you, you just have to trust your body to feel it.

You can find additional somatic exercises in my 5-Day Somatic Challenge for moms. This challenge guides you through 5 somatic practices that will help find peace in the chaos of motherhood. These exercises have made a significant difference in my motherhood journey and I’d love to share a piece of that with you. 

I know how easy it can be to lose the practice of self gratitude and compassion when our lives become so busy with motherhood. But don’t let it get too lost to where you no longer feel your light. The same way your little one became your light, you became theirs. So remember to shine it bright because you both deserve it.